Little Earthquakes

I have now completed both quarter life crisis books. I enjoy reading someone's thoughts on the subject when they very frequently echo my own.

Now that I've had a while of post college life of my own, I think I am entitled to make my personal list of survival tips.

1. Always listen to your inner voice. I know we all have one..sometimes it's dormant especially when you are comfortable in whatever setting you are in..expressing your opinions, fears doubts to the reliable and trustworthy ears of your company..but other times, when you are not so fortunate to express yourself so freely, the inner voice starts speaking louder. You can ignore it all you want but if it is voicing valid issues, you have to listen. And then, you have to act. And it's the acting part that is always the hardest.

2. Don't discard your friends. We go through life trying to amass a large array of "friends." We think if we have an impressive list of friends, we must be friendworthy, cool, smart and fun people. But, really..take a close look at that list and then circle in another color ink which friends you can really deem friends. And then, simply put, treasure them. If they can stand to pick up the phone at 2am and listen to another one of your -why hasen't he/she called me yet? rants, this person is a keeper.
It's your friends who are there to pick up the pieces if things don't exactly work out. Or, on a less dramatic level. when life isn't smiling on you, its the true friends who can pick you up in spirit. I am thankful for the true friends in my life.

3. Your parents are not always wrong. We go through a certain amount of life convinced that we must somehow outsmart them and prove our extreme independence and intelligence. If mom looks the other way, just for a split second, I can subtly toss another chocolate into my mouth before she turns back. I don't know how many times I confided in friends or my journal that my parents didn't understand, they were so unfair and how could they be so cruel. I kept this same mentality after graduating college. When they both criticized my year after college plan, this fueled my fire even more. How dare they try to stop me from attaining my dream,my individuality? Don't they see that I have figured it out already..I've done the math.

Well, sometimes you have apparently forgotten very key aspects in your post college plan. You kept shushing your parents over the dinner table when they brought up valid points..like how to afford to live on your own with only a part-time check, no health benefits and lots of car insurance to pay. This is when it is good to have the smarts to clear away your selfish pride and listen. They might just be onto something. They are your parents. And believe it or not, they too were 23 at some point in their lives, post the dinosaurs. :)

4. Talk to people. For someone a bit more introverted and self-conscious than most, this is no small feat. But, it is necessary. Making new aquaintances can not happen if you isolate yourself in your 2 by 4 box of a room or glue yourself to the latest netflex shipments. Go to parties of friends of friends knowing that you clearly don't know anyone there. Drink some wine and then start talking. Read new best sellars right off the presses and the ny times editorial section (ok, perhaps the latter two points are favored toward another english major like myself), make eye contact (yes, that even includes you, you ghetto New Yorkers, give this one a try). Find past friends on the internet, hey, why not. Our parents lacked that luxury. Milk the 21st century for all it's worth.

5. Emote. Yes, even the males in the room can try this one. Laugh, cry, run, punch something. Lock the door and let the day's frustrations out before they become so repressive that you finally have a 3-yr old temper tamtrum in the back of the taxi during rush hour.
Better yet, breathe.

6. Write. Are we picking up on a pattern here? So, maybe we are fortunate at the present moment not to be starving, freezing, devoid of food and shelter, but getting through a day in the life of a twenty something yr old filled with worry and anguish can often be anything but easy. And it's not going to get easier by hiding your feelings. Try to accept the fact that these years in your life may not come with an instruction manual, things may be a little fuzzy..and do things that make you feel better.
-Have that scoop of Haiggan Daz coffee icecream
-take a long hot shower
-blast your favorite song
-write a nasty and derogatory email to someone who has hurt you and read it outloud, send it to your best friend to scrutinize over every semi-colan, and and then delete it. Yes, this does really work.

And lastly, have a little patience. It's called baby steps people.
Enjoy the little things.